Today, I am overjoyed.  I am proud that the Supreme Court of the United States has said that DOMA(the defense against marriage act) is unconstitutional.  " DOMA is unconstitutional as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment."  
 I do not have words eloquent enough to say how happy this makes me.  People against equality make me angry.  We are all created equal and this is what the United States of America was founded on.  Equality.  People will always discriminate against others, be it women, blacks or homosexuals, but according to the law, we should all be equal, and today we are finally one step closer to equality for all.  Thank you to the Supreme Court justices who realized that you cannot specifically say that one group of people is not allowed to do something because another group of people is afraid of it.  It wasn't too long ago that interracial couples weren't allowed to wed.  Can you even imagine?  I certainly can't.  I hope that this ruling today paves the way for people to feel free to love freely.  I hope that my four children will not read headlines that state:I'm Gay, or First NBA Player Comes Out, or First Openly Gay Football Player in the NFL.  I hope they don't see these headlines because it will no longer be a big deal.  We won't need to know people are gay because it won't matter.  Gay kids won't be afraid to come out because of backlash from their communities.  People will practice the Bible they preach and leave the judging up to God.  
These are the glorious days when I am proud to be an American.  Love is blind, equality for all!

I have an issue.  I fancy myself a baker.  I would like to make money baking things someday.  Perhaps have a lovely little store that is called The Bake Shoppe(doesn't that make you think it is extra fancy?).  People would come from miles around to purchase my confections.  It would be a delight!
 Becoming a wonderful baker takes practice. Lots and lots of practice.  Practicing my baking skills would require me to have a house filled with beautiful, sweet, yummy, wonderful, lovely sweets.  Do you see the problem?  I could have used more superlatives to describe sweets, but I thought that would be overkill.  The issue is: I. HAVE. NO.  WILLPOWER.  Seriously none.  If I made a tray of brownies I would eat at least half of it, and I have 4 other eaters in my house.  I am a complete fat ass and will eat sweets until I want to puke.  I see no way around this problem!  Especially when the other thing I want most in the world is to not look like a total fat ass in pictures that will be taken of me at Disney World! 
I would love any suggestions on how one makes things that smell and taste divine and eats only a taste.  And how do you stop licking the bowl?  I have been known to make a cake simply so I could then lick the bowl.  It's a sickness! This is my life we are talking about people!  I need help!   Lots and lots of help! 

My sanity comes and goes.  We just got done moving into our newly purchased home.  That was a task with 4 kids and no help!  We hired someone to lug the heavy crap, but my husband and I moved everything else ourselves while 4 kids ran under foot.  It was probably one of the worst ideas ever, but I didn't see any other option.  We had just moved in September, that time I stood there embarrassed as professional movers did everything including packing every last thing we owned.  It was nice not to do anything, but I really didn't like strangers throwing all of my shit into boxes.  I am slowly starting to unpack the new house.  I think I have located and put away all of the kitchen boxes.  Probably.
My sanity yearns for organization.  I am too lazy and too ADD to achieve the organization I long for.  I have a board on Pinterest that is devoted to all the beautiful organizing ideas others have implemented into their home.  How the hell do they do it?  I am pleased with myself when I find space in a cupboard for all the crap that was on top of my counter.  I do not even have that accomplished yet.  My sanity is barely hanging on.   I am probably the worst housewife ever.  EVER! 

I have a huge headache today.  Part of it may be that it is spring break and the weather is frickin cold, thus meaning the kids are constantly cooped up.  The other part is I waited all day for the results of an MRI.  Not my MRI, but my 6 month old son's MRI.  I called at 11:00 and was told I would be called right back.  I had to call back at 4:12 to be told that everything was normal.  Thank God!  You cannot leave someone hanging like that!  I knew that everything was probably going to be ok, but what if it wasn't?  I was googling what time doctors call with bad news and all sorts of other shit the crazies do when they think they might be dying.  Yeah, I am one of those.  I spend way too much time being diagnosed by Dr.  Google.  And I should never Google my kids' symptoms!  Am I crazy???  The common cold is cancer on Google.  The reason I turn to Google is because I don't want to be one of those crazy ladies that calls the doctor every other day because their kid is sick.  The bigger kids I don't worry about too much.  Even after 4 kids, the baby stage freaks me the fuck out.  I do not worry less when they are sick.  I still have to check to see if he is breathing in the middle of the night.  I am paranoid.  How did I get so lucky as to have 4 healthy kids?  That to me, is a miracle. I have a stress headache even though I found out my baby's brain is normal. I am not strong enough to handle a sick baby, and I cry everyday for the moms who have to deal with it. 

Viva il Papa!

I think I may be figuring out some of the buttons on blogger.  Who would have thought that I would be so dumb?  I took intro to computers to college, I should be able to do blogger!  Lord, have mercy.
Speaking of the Lord, today a new Pope was elected.  I am a fallen Catholic.  I guess.  I don't know.  I still consider myself Catholic because I know nothing else, but 3 of my 4 kids aren't baptized.  Going to church is such an ordeal with all of these kids.  And my husband definitely isn't Catholic, so he offers no assistance.  I actually emailed the church in my town about getting things going, but they didn't reply.  Does that mean they don't want me? 
 Anywho, we Catholics love ceremony, and apparently everyone else does too.  I mean, if you aren't Catholic, why would you care who the Pope is?  You don't care, but everyone loves a good wedding, and this is the ultimate!  Black smoke, white smoke, a hundred people screaming at a dude like he is a rock star.  It is fun, even you are laughing at it.  I found myself entranced while watching, waiting for the curtains to be pulled back, even though I would have no idea who the guy was.  I am not up on the Cardinals of the world. But it was a moment in history I am glad I got to witness, albeit from a world away.  Plus, I got my kids to chant Viva il Papa with me.  That was 2 minutes of fun we may never have again.

Maybe This Time

In my mind I am full of ambition.  In real life, I spend alot of time on Pinterest.  I am going to try to make this work, I swear!  I am the dirty 30, and it is time to carry out some of the plans I have for myself.  I am putting some of those goals out here on the interwebs hoping I will pull my head out of my ass and follow through with something.  I will be proud of myself damn it!  Well, if I have time between pinning and cleaning up puke.  There is alot of puke when you have 4 kids. 
1.  Write good content on this blog at least 3 times a week.  I have started many blogs, never to post more than 10 posts.  They all seemed lame after awhile.  This time I am just going to try to be me, and see how it goes. 
2.  Shrink my fat ass.  Seriously I gained 70 lbs with my first kid and I am still carrying 60 of it.  That was 9 frickin years ago!  The only bright side to this is I didn't gain any extra weight with my 3 other children.  I have no family photos because I hate the way I look.  We are going to Disney World in October and I will be in the damn pictures because I am paying a fortune to be there!  I am not kidding myself into thinking I will lose it all, but 30 would be nice.  Plus I need to look hot for Donnie Wahlberg when I see NKOTB in concert in July.
3. I am a sahm who hopes to one day have a bakery or some type of business of my own or with my husband.  In case that doesn't work out or prove lucrative, I plan to become a Certified Dietary Manager with hopes of becoming the Head Bitch in Charge at a school cafeteria.  Yes, I aspire to be a lunch lady.  Laugh all you want, but first check out the requirements of a CDM(not too many classes, and this girl is not cut out for school), the average pay of a CDM and think about when lunch ladies work.  Yep, if the kids are off, so am I!  Booyah!
Okay.  I got it out there.  Again.  Anyone who happens along my silly little blog will see it.  If they check back again and a week and see no new content, they will know I have failed.  I am done failing myself.  Let's get this! 

Keeping Sane with 4

So.  I am probably losing my mind.  In September, I gave birth to my 4th and final kid.  The next week, I moved to Misery, er Missouri.  A couple of weeks after that, I turned the dirty 30.  Not to mention I still have a house in Nebraska that isn't on the market yet, nor is it ready to be.  I am going to lose my ever loving mind, and soon.
 This kid is our fourth and final, and he is the only boy.  He was quite the little surprise.  I had these plans to make 2012 all about me, and I was going to have my shit together by the time my 30th birthday rolled around.  And by having my shit together I mean I wasn't going to be so fat.  So I am thirty.  And fat.  The good news is that I am at my prepregnancy weight already.  The bad news is that this is the same weight that I have been sitting at since my first baby was born.  The 50lbs I need to lose have been there for 8 years.  Blech! 
 I also still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  Currently I am a stay at home mom, and I have about six  years to decide.  Hopefully I will get my shit together before then!  My brain is turning to mush.  Squishy nastiness that remembers nothing but song lyrics and I can't hold on to them as well as I used to be able to. 
I have 3 girls, ages 8, 5, and 2.  I love them completely, but there are many times in the day that they make me want to pull my hair out.  I will soon be walking around with bald spots.  Or Miley Cyrus's haircut.  Maybe the would think I am cool then.  They do still think I am cool, the 8 year old is slipping away, and I am worried that she will take the younger ones with her.  There is alot of drama in my house.  I am kind of excited for the days when they just won't talk to me anymore.  Not really, but occasionally the thought is entertained with amusement.  My husband works alot.  I am sure you can understand why.